Opinions on this poem?

Seconds old and shrieking


My blue baby


They said you couldn’t breathe


But you were warm


My blue baby


You were mine





Three years old and smiling


My blue baby


Sniffing cornflowers


They said you were all wrong


But you were all there


And my blue baby,


You were mine





Sweet sixteen and crying


My blue baby


They said you couldn’t feel


But you felt for him


And my blue baby,


You were mine





Twenty-seven and kissing


My blue baby


They said you wouldn’t last


But you were there


Dressed in white


And my blue baby,


You became his.

Opinions on this poem?
i agree with nancy - too many "blues"





other than that - i like it
Reply:I think it's very moving. But I think it would have more impact if you took out all the "blue's" until the last stanza. Make it more like a surprise to the reader. (Just my opinion!)
Reply:I understand completely where you are coming from, and where you ended up with this poem! I'll bet your daughter cried when you gave it to her at her wedding too. For that purpose it was a wonderful sentiment, for a poem to publish, it would need to be reworked, but it is beautiful as it is for why it is written. Thanks for sharing.
Reply:Its very interesting. I like it a lot.